Naughty parents and sockFrenchkissing babies
by Crazy4Moony
Summary: James and his son are babysitting Remus and Sirius' house, but when two blondes show up, it all turns out wrong. In a deliciously right way. JPLM. Hinted HPDM. R&R.


**Naughty parents and sock-French-kissing babies**

**(Or: Like Father Like Son.)**

It was dark outside and the rain continuously hit the roof and windows. The ticking of droplets on the roof didn't bother James that much, since he was in the living room, but that also happened to be the room with the most windows, so the rain against the glass, _did_ annoy James. Or at least, it would have, had James not been so busy.

As it was, James was quite busy really. He'd made stacks of his papers on the living room table, right in front of the sofa. But two hours ago, when he'd been in need of some fresh air, he'd stupidly opened a window, and WHOOSH, off his papers went. He'd been on his knees ever since. Really, his papers were everywhere. Baby Harry had had quite the laugh. Giggling like mad in his stupid cradle. James regretted even bringing the damn thing here. (The cradle. Though he did have second thoughts about Harry too.) It would have served Harry right, if he'd been forced to sleep on the floor or sofa. Mocking his father like that!

James picked up the last paper, and put it with the left stack on the table. Finally, he'd found them all. He then glanced at Harry once, to check if he was still breathing and all right. Oh yeah. He was drooling all over the place. Yep. He was just fine. The baby made a gorgling sound, and James unwillingly smiled. He did really love the kid to pieces. Otherwise he wouldn't have brought him with him. He didn't like leaving Harry alone with Lilly. Not that she was a bad mother or anything… just… she'd been a bit off lately, and sometimes she just dozed off at random moments, and that didn't go well when you had a kid that needed to be fed every two hours. And okay, Harry could live without food, so if she'd forget feeding him for once, it didn't really matter. But if she forgot feeding him all day, well, that didn't go unnoticed.

Which reminded James, it was time for milk. Jum. He could do with some of that too, he was quite thirsty. James stretched once, and got up. He liked Sirius and Remus' house, it was spacious and very nice and homey. He felt more at home there, than he did at Goddric's hollow. Though maybe that was because Sirius and Remus lived here, and they'd really been the first family he had. He picked up Harry, and walked out of the living room, and into the kitchen. Harry giggled all the way. Seriously, were babies constantly high, or what? James had always thought babies were weird things. With the noises and the drooling (okay… so he'd practically lived with a dog for six years… he could handle drooling, but still) and the mood swings (right… he could live with that too, considering Sirius' constant change of behaviour) and just all the baby-ness. But it couldn't be denied that they were extremely cute. And James really enjoyed being a father.

He put Harry in the baby seat, and got some milk from the fridge. He poured some into a cooking pan and heated it in the oven, whilst filling a mug for himself. Harry giggled some more, and all of a sudden, the bell ringed.

James frowned. Who could that be? Remus had told him everyone knew they wouldn't be home for the weekend, so who would decide to visit a supposed-to-be empty house? He looked at Harry, who was whacking a fluffed toy against the table. Deciding Harry could do without him for a while, he pushed up his glasses and walked out of the room, towards the front door.

And part of him would always wish he'd never opened the door. But the other part would always disagree.

Lucius Malfoy looked just as shocked as James was. Wait, correct that: Lucius Malfoy didn't look like anything at first. He had a baby on his arm and was searching in his briefcase for something, all his papers getting wet from the rain. Then he looked up, saw James, and _then_ he looked as shocked as James was. His mouth opened and he nearly dropped the blonde baby, which was bad really since it was rather cute (never care about how unethical it is to drop a baby. It was just cute, that's the end of it).

"I…" Lucius stuttered uncharismatic, making James realize that this was Lucius Malfoy, the man he was desperately in love with. "You… you're not Lupin…" Lucius continued. "I needed him… for some papers and…" Lucius trailed off.

Yes. They worked together. James knew this, and now that Lucius mentioned it, he thought Remus might have said something about papers, and a colleague. Typical Remus, not mentioning that the colleague was Lucius. He was probably afraid James would suffer from a nervous-break-down after he heard he'd be facing Lucius Malfoy, after not being within a close proximity of him for eight months and two weeks and three days and approximately five hours. Not that he'd been counting.

James breathed in deeply, calming his nerves. He could do this. He could be friendly to Lucius. He could restrain the urge to pull him in and shag him senseless. He could restrain the urge to start weeping like a baby. He could totally do this. Even though it cost him every ounce of what he had, just to keep standing.

"Oh, okay… yeah, I think Remus mentioned that," James stepped back, waving Lucius in. "Please, come in, it's cold, and it's raining. I'll make you some tea and get you a towel." He gave a little smile, and Lucius gave him a secret questioning look, and then stepped into the house. It was rather nice in there.

James closed the front door, closing his eyes and gathering himself for a moment. He could do this. Really. He heard Lucius' heels clack on the floor and turned around, leading him into the kitchen, where Harry was now whacking James' mug against the table. It was close to breaking.

"Oh, sodding hell!" James swore, scurrying to the baby and trying to pull the cup out of his hands. "No! Bad Harry! Come on! You've been mean to me all night! Give me the cup." Harry drooled happily and let go.

James realized he had just begged to his eleven-months-old son, whilst Lucius was in the room. He now must think James was a complete retard. Great impression he was making. But it was true. Harry had been cruel. Mocking James as he picked up the fallen papers. Drooling all over the place. Harry was really mean for a baby.

He turned around, not looking into Lucius' eyes. Instead, he motioned at the chair, and magiced up another baby seat for Lucius' kid. He put the kettle on the fire, and left, quickly returning with a fluffy towel.

"Here." He thrusted the towel into Lucius' hands, and sat down, still not making eye-contact.

"Thank you," Lucius got from his chair and started drying his long blonde hair. "I'm really sorry to disturb you like this… I thought they weren't leaving until tomorrow… I'd expected them to be home." He explained.

"It's really okay," James drank some tea, because _no_, it _wasn't_ okay. "They'll check in soon, so I'll ask Remus about the papers then. I would call them now, but knowing them they're probably doing all sorts of nasty stuff and I don't quite feel like disturbing them while they're doing… _that_."

Lucius smirked, rubbing his hair fiercely. The blonde baby looked cautiously at James with his big blue eyes, and he felt rather… endangered. As if the baby was about to attack him or something. But it was a cute one, James had to admit. It looked a lot like his father, even though it had slim to no hair, and it was small enough to fit in James' nightstand without trouble.

"We should move to the living room," James said, picking up Harry from his chair. He wondered what Harry would look like if he was Lucius' and not Lilly's. But no. He couldn't do that. "Cause otherwise he's gonna start crying again and I don't want that." He shook Harry slightly, indicating that he was talking about the baby-boy.

"Okay." Lucius legibly picked up his son with one arm, whilst he continued rubbing his hair.

James felt quite jealous of the baby. Or of Lucius, he couldn't quite be sure. The boy was just like Lucius, even now, when he was still so small. He didn't cry or wriggle once. Just sat quietly in his father's arms. Calm and steady, just like Lucius. And the way he wrapped his chubby arms around his father's arm was so graceful. Not that James could complain though. Harry was a spitting image of James. Yep. He wriggled like hell, trying to get away from James and do some mischief, he giggled when James bumped his toe, and was back to drooling when he was put in the crib. He looked _exactly_ like James.

"You can put him in there too," James gave a nod and flopped down on the couch. "I don't think he'll be brutally eaten or something… really, Harry's not that dangerous. Just a sadistic bastard, that's all."

Lucius put down the blonde kid, and said: "Aha. Just like you then?" Sounding innocent, but James knew better.

"Tsk. I'm not a sadistic bastard! I'm amazingly hot! There _is_ a difference you know." With a mock-hurt voice.

Lucius laughed and James couldn't help but smile. That laugh triggered so many memories. He remembered how Lucius barely ever laughed, unless he was with James. That'd always been so good to know. That James was one of the only people that could truly make Lucius happy. But then his father came along and ruined it all. Everything James wanted was now a lie, and even trying to pursue his dreams would be wrong. But he missed Lucius. He couldn't deny that. Not to anyone.

He glanced at Lucius, who'd wrapped the towel around his hair, still rubbing fiercely. The long hair took ages to dry, so much was sure. Then he looked at their sons. Who were… what?

"Oh. My. God," James' eyes grew wide. Sure, Harry looked exactly like him, except for the eyes, and Lucius' son resembled him to the point of plane creepy, but that they'd end up doing what their dads had done not so long ago, that was a surprise, even to James. James very much believed in the 'apple doesn't fall far from the tree' theory, but seriously, this was beyond him. "Don't tell me they're French kissing!"

Lucius frowned, what the fuck was James rambling about this time? He glanced at the crib, they were just…

"Ieuw! That's gross!" He squealed childishly, and very girly. It made James giggle. Then he regained composure.

"They're actually _swopping salvia_. They're seriously sock-French-kissing," James sighed. What was he supposed to do now? It seemed like the blonde baby had taken away one of Harry's socks and had decided it'd be a nice chew-toy. But then Harry had taken the sock from him, and put it in his own mouth. When the blonde boy pulled the sock from Harry again, there was a fine trail of salvia, starting on Harry's lips and ending with the sock, that was now in the blonde's mouth. He was chomping away on it rather reluctantly, as if afraid it'd explode or something. Harry grasped it from him, and put it in his own mouth again. Slowly but surely, they made a watery mess on the sock. Bleh. There were definitely better ways to French-kiss. Was James supposed to take the sock away or something? And if he didn't, what was the danger? "What if they choke?" James said rather panicky.

"Then they're death." Lucius said matter-of-factly. "I can't believe they're really doing that. Babies are so dirty." When he saw his son was about to nibble on the sock again, he roughly pulled it out of his little hands, only to get the kid wailing like mad.

James covered his ears quickly. Seriously, did he think Harry's wailing was loud? It was nothing compared to this.

"Give it back!" He yelled, to make sure Lucius could hear him. "If they wanna swop salvia, just let them! After all, like father, like son." The last statement slipped from his lips before he even noticed.

Lucius was so surprised he dropped the sock immediately, staring blankly at James. James blushed a deep red and lowered his hands. Fuck. He shouldn't have said that. It was crude, rude and out-of-place. Not to mention, it made the air tense and triggered another memory-stream. Not something he wanted to handle right now. No. That was definitely not the right thing to say.

The blonde, mini-Lucius, giggled, as if it knew what James had just said, and started chewing on the sock again. The older blonde, on the other hand, just stood there. His eyes had widened considerably, and James seriously thought he was about to faint. He just looked so shocked. And… thoughtful.

"Lucius, please, I'm sorry," James whispered, when he'd been silent for a while. "Please, you know me, I say stupid things when I'm tense," he came closer, putting his hand on Lucius' shoulder. "It's just not seeing you for so long and then you're here and…" he looked into Lucius' eyes, trying to read his mind. "Lucius?"

And next thing he knew their lips were connected to one-an-others.

"That was bad. Very bad," James stated. He was sweaty and not thinking straight. His eyes were glazy, and he suddenly realised how that had sounded like. "Well, not bad as in _bad_, just… bad as in unethical bad." He corrected himself.

His lips were slightly parted and his hand was absently stroking Lucius' damp hair. No matter how ethically bad this was: if he really cared, he wouldn't be laying in one of the guestroom beds, completely just-shagged and exhausted.

"Yeah," Lucius agreed. "We shouldn't have done that, and I know I'm not supposed to say this, but damn I missed you. I almost forgot how flexible you are."

James grinned and turned to him. He was absolutely breathtaking like this. His pale skin glistening with little beads of sweat, shinning in the moonlight. His hair damp and everywhere. His body completely at ease being so close to James'. Jeez, he'd missed this so much. Missed Lucius so much. And this… this basking in the afterglow of incredible, earthquakingly hot love-making, oh, he'd missed that too.

His hand moved over Lucius' leg, teasing his thigh and he nuzzled Lucius' neck. Oh, how he loved him. Ethically bad or not, how could this be wrong? Lucius grinned at him and kissed the crown of his head. This was heaven, bad as it may be.

It wasn't until the telephone rang that James realized how much they weren't supposed to do this. Not anymore. Oh, but he wanted to. They just couldn't. His eyes grew, and he got up, abandoning Lucius in the bed. Lucius noted the change in his behaviour as something bad, and he wrapped the blanket around his body, following James.

By the time he entered the living room James was on the sofa, still naked, and the telephone had been put on speaker. The babies were sleeping.

"Mister Malfoy came to get some papers Remmi," James was saying. "Where are they?"

Lucius frowned and sat down next to James, putting his hand on James' leg, but the latter shook his head. 'Don't.' He was saying. 'We can't. We shouldn't have.'

"Don't put that shit on me now James," he hissed, trying to not let Lupin hear the conversation. And apparently he didn't, because he said something about him accidentally taking them to France and them being owled to Lucius this minute. "You're not leaving me a second time. I can't fucking take your crap any longer."

James wanted to argue but he knew Lucius was right. They just weren't supposed to be apart. Remus said something, and James focused on staring at the phone.

"Right, okay..." he though of something to say. "Thanks. Have fun you two!" Pressed a button and gone was Remus.

James then looked at Lucius, who cupped his face with one of his slender hands immediately, rubbing his cheek softly.

"You're right. Very right. I really want to be with you, you know that," he put his head against Lucius' naked shoulder, and wrapped his arms around Lucius' waist. "But... how?"

"We..." Lucius seemed to ponder it. It was quite obvious—but he was afraid James would decide to not do it, afraid he'd choose the redhead anyways.

"Get divorces? I'll do whatever you want me to Lucius... I just don't want to be without Harry." James whispered and pressed a quick kiss against Lucius' neck, as if he wasn't sure he was allowed to do that, now that he admitted that he wanted to keep his son no matter what.

"I don't want to be without Draco either," Lucius stated. "But I don't see why we should; people with kids separate a lot. That's what shared custody is for."

James' eyes grew a bit.

"And you wouldn't mind having to live with two dudes who are obviously both Gryffindors?" He questioned.

"I'm not sure if the baby's a Gryffindor Sweets, he's quite cruel isn't he," James glared and Lucius smiled. "Only if you don't mind having to live with two Slytherins."

"I'll manage, I suppose." And they kissed again, not even noticing the babies waking up.

"Kids forget about all the stuff they saw when they were babies, right?" James questioned, sweat gathered on his chest, which was being dragged around by Lucius' pale finger. His back was sticky against the couch and his legs were spread indecently wide, with Lucius in between them.

Lucius' laugh filled the air and James stared nervously at the cot. He wished he knew how long exactly the kids had been awake—how much they'd seen exactly.

"I hope they do, because that wasn't really setting a proper example. Though maybe it'll turn out to be a good thing," Lucius said pensively. James glared at him sceptically. How could them having sex on the couch in front of their kids possibly be a good thing? "This way we already got the whole 'sex aid talk' and 'where do babies come from?' covered."

James rolled his eyes yet lovingly stroked through Lucius' hair.

"You're such a wanker." He sighed happily.

"Why would I be? I have you for that," He was rewarded with a squat on the head and grinned sheepishly. "I hope you're not intending on always being this abusive. I can live with a Gryffindor, but an abusive Gryffindor..."

James glided down the couch a bit, his body making odd sounds against the cushions, and kissed Lucius' lips.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Sweetheart," he purred softly. Then he glided out from under the other's body and stretched. "I'll never do it again. Harry needs food though, so we'll have to resume the lovely rendez-vous on the couch later."

Lucius smiled and got up too.

"'s okay. I have to go anyways. Have to talk to Narcissa and such." The remark made the air thicker and the vibe cold.

They dressed in silence, and when they were done they took their own boy from the crib, and James walked Lucius to the door. They still didn't talk as Lucius stepped out into the rain. Then James suddenly whispered: "So you promise you'll see me tomorrow, right?"

"Of course Love," Lucius said, but James wasn't convinced. "Here," He balanced Draco on one arm, and stripped himself of his second most important possession—his necklace baring the Malfoy crest. Sure, he had others at home, but this was the one the first Malfoy ever had given his wife. She'd given it to her oldest son, and from then on it was tradition to give it first to the wife, then to the son. He carefully put it around James' neck and kissed him softly again, both babies giggling between their bodies. "Now you can be the wife, éh. I'll return to you in the morning." He gave a wink, and turned around, walking away in the rain.

James sighed, and then decided to leave Sirius and Remus a message, he had to go home himself. After all, he had some things to discuss with Lilly.

The next day James was found death with a necklace around his neck of which no one knew what they were supposed to do. It was returned to Lucius, and he never smiled again—except this once when he was in the tub and James decided to pay him a little visit. But it didn't matter, because even though James' spirit had his necklace, he was transparent and couldn't be touched, because no matter how many times James would come to see him, they could never have the future they had wanted together.

He could only hope Harry wouldn't die before Draco and he got to sock-French-kiss—without the sock of course.

_Fin._

**AN: Well, hope you liked it :D I enjoyed writing it, because I'm very fond of the Lucius/James pairing, and at least this one has a sort-of happy ending :) Most are all sad (I admit, I write sad ones myself too, but whatever) so, this was a nice change from the usual ones I write :) Leave I review! I want to know what you guys think!**


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